Halloween & The NFL Part II

October 31, 2021

Halloween is here and every good first installment is worthy of a quality sequel!  So here we go Part II of our NFL Boogieman and Monsters showcase.

Part II

Pennywise as Myles Garrett

He’s just a monster.  Haunting children and never leaving when they turn into adults.    I mean the people he haunts call themselves “The Losers” for crying out loud.   This dude even keeps tombstones in his front yard off all the QBs he’s sacked.  That just sadistic.    Plus he even tried to brain and rookie a few years back so he has a streak in him that is unpredictable.    I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in a sewer in Lamar Jackson, Big Ben or Joe Burrow’s neighborhood.   Oh and not being afraid of this cat doesn’t really work.  So much for that approach.  

Pinhead as Jalen Ramsey

The ultimate antagonist.  The Hell Priest.   Ramsey is in class by himself when it comes to his rhetoric and ability to dictate terms based on his ability to verbally lure you in.  He targets those who willingly get in the way of his goals.  Using chains and hooks to lock you down and submit to his will Pinhead is the horror genre version of a lockdown corner.  Being very persuasive and inventive you never know what Ramsey you will get but he is relentless in his pursuit.   No one has more swagger than Pinhead which is why HE is Jalen Ramsey. 

Frankenstein’s Monster as Quenton Nelson

A Big destructive force that is unstoppable.   Why? Because he isn’t just one human he is five or six.  He is the physical strength of Jonathan Ogden with the football acumen of Anthony Munoz.  I know there is some Orlando Pace and Bruce Mathews in there as well.  He just wants to be accepted by everyone around him.   But when he gets moving or reacts, watch out!   Nothing can stop him.   He doesn’t mean to crush and kill everything in his path but he just keeps moving forward and physically dominating anything that gets in his way.  

The Leprechaun as Christian McCaffrey

At times elite and great but most of the time he’s just not around enough.   What if we do this what if we do that?  He is great at everything all the time, but we hardly ever see him.   And he jumped the shark really early.  Once a series goes to space its over and all we hear is how great he is in space which we never get to see! They say he is from another dimension and all he wants is his gold.   Which I am cool with but he gets tossed around pretty easily which results in not much of a threat when it matters. 

Matt Stafford as Leatherface

It’s lore right?  Based on a true story?  It actually happened?  It’s all hearsay!  Well,  we never knew what Stafford was capable of.   We thought we knew but we really didn’t.  Now he is pretty much carving up everything in his way.   You come into his house you are getting the saw.  Now on pace for 5000 yards and 45TDs we know he is elite and once he fires up the saw he has his choice of what he wants to do with it.  Cooper Kupp is now on pace to challenge Calvin Johnson’s single season receiving yardage haul.   Beaten up over the years Leatherface still has it.    Maybe he always did. 

Jon Gruden as Chucky

Apparently this one was actually true.   Who knew? 

This is Part II of NFL Boogieman and Monsters.  To check out the original just click on the previous installment above. 

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